Guys, once again, I almost decided to call it quits for good last week. I had
a really good audition that I felt super prepared for, and got a call back and
all that good stuff. Afterwards I tried to tell myself to let go of the result,
that I could feel good that I did the best I could even though I knew that I
wasn’t the type they were looking for, etc., etc. But over the next few days,
Silent Phone was still somehow draining and momentum- blocking. I honestly wasn’t expecting it to ring, but
rationality never enters into this sort of thing. Ruling out the impossible is generally
something I do terribly well, but in this department it’s...well, impossible. A small
part of me is still hoping for them to call and offer me the part of Eliza
Doolittle even though the show closed a few years ago.
Anyway,
after over a straight year of this daily struggle, last week I felt that perhaps my head couldn’t take one more hit
against the brick wall. When is it giving up and when is it letting go? Maybe this is God’s way of telling me to go
thru that window they say He opens up when the door closes, wherever and
whatever that window could lead me to. Hopefully I can fit through it.
But this
week there is another audition, and why I’ve decided to go and am sort of
excited about it is a mystery to me.
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